Don't Make Assumptions

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything.  The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.  We could swear they are real.  We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking- we make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking- we take it personally- then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word.  That is why whenever we make assumptions, we're asking for problems.  We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally,  and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.

All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.  Take a moment to consider the truth of this statement.  The whole war of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally.  We create a lot of emotional poison just by making assumptions and taking it personally, because usually we start gossiping about our assumptions.

Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and we believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong.  It's always better to ask questions then to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.

We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do.  We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse.  This is the biggest assumption that humans make.  And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others.  Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves.  So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves.  That is the way the human mind works.

***Such a great chapter.... Go get the book or borrow mine!

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing other people do is because of you.  It is because of themselves.  All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.  When we take something personaly, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.  What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. 

If someone gives you an opinion and says, "Hey, you look so fat," don't take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs or opinions.  That person tried to send poison to you and if you take it personally, then you take that poison and it becomes yours.  Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians.  They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up.

When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.  You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong.  You also try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions.  In the same way, whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own agreements.  What you say, what you do, and the opinions you have are according to the agreements you have made- and these opinions have nothing to do with me.

It is not important to me what you think about me, and I don't take what you think personally.  I don't take it personally when people say, "Miguel, you are the best," and I also don't take it personally when they say, "Miguel, you are the worst."  I know that when you are happy you will tell me, "Miguel, you are such an angel!" But, when you are mad at me you will say, "Oh, Miguel, you are such a devil! You are so disgusting.  How can you say those things.?"  Either way, it does not affect me because I know what I am.  I don't have the need to be accepted.  I don't have the need to have someone tell me, "Miguel, you are doing so good!" or "How dare you do that!"

No, I don't take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem.  It is the way you see the world.  It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me.  Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.

As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won't need to place your trust in what others do or say.  You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices.  You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you.  When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.

Be Impeccable

{I'm just going to take some key points straight from the pages of the book- it's too simple and clear to try and make it my own words...}

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Your word is the power that you have to create.  The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.  The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic.  But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.  Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you even more than you know.

One word is like a spell, and humans use the word like black magicians, thoughtlessly putting spells on each other.  Every human is a magician, and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell.  We cast spells all the time with our opinions.  The word can enter our mind and change a whole belief for better or for worse.

For example:  You may believe you are stupid, you may have believed this for as long as you can remember.  You may do something and think to yourself, "I wish I were smart, but I must be stupid or I wouldn't have done that."  The mind goes in hundreds of directions and we could spend days getting hooked by just that one belief in our own stupidity.

Then one day someone hooks your attention and using the word, lets you know that you are not stupid.  You believe what the person says and make a new agreement.  As a result, you no longer feel or act stupid.  A whole spell is broken, just by the power of the word.  Conversely, if you believe you are stupid, and someone hooks your attention and says, "Yes, you are really the most stupid person I have ever met," the agreement will be reinforced and become even stronger.

Impeccability means "Without sin."  A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself.  Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is sin.  You go against yourself  when you judge or blame yourself for anything.  Being impeccable is not going against yourself.  When you are impeccable, you take resonsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.

Sin begins with rejection of yourself.  Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit.  

Being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself.  If I see you in the street and I call you stupid, it appears that I'm using the word against you.  But really I'm using my word against myself, because you're going to hate me for this, and your hating me is not good for me.  Therefore, if I get angry and with my word send all that emotional poison to you, I'm using the word against myself.

Looking at human interactions, imagine how many times we cast spells on each other with our word.  Over time this interaction has become the worst form of black magic, and we call it gossip.  Gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure posion.

Gossiping has become the main form of communication in human society.  It has become the way we feel close to each other, because it makes us feel better to see someone else feel as badly as we do.

For years we have received the gossip and spells from the words of others, but also from the way we use our word with ourselves.  We talk to ourselves constantly and most of the time we say things like, "Oh, I look fat, I look ugly. I'm getting old, I'm losing my hair.  I'm stupid, I never understand anything.  I will never be good enough, and I'm never going to be perfect."  Do you see how we use the word against ourselves?  We must begin to understand what the word is and what the word does.  If you understand the first agreement, be impeccable with your word, you begin to see all the changes that can happen in your life.  Changes first in the way you deal with yourself, and later in the way you deal with other people, especially those you love the most.

Consider how many times you have gossiped about the person you love the most to gain the support of others for your point of view.  how many times have you hooked other people's attention and spread poison about your loved one in order to make your opinion right?  Your opinion is nothing but your point of view.  It is not necessarily true.  Your opinion comes from your believes, your own ego, and your own dream.  We create all this poison and spread it to others just so we can feel right about our own point of view.

If we adapt the first agreement, and become impeccable with our word, any emotional poison will eventually be cleaned from our mind and from our communication in our personal relationship.  Impeccability of the word will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you.  You will only receive a negative idea if your mind is fertile ground for that idea.

Be Impeccable with your word.  Use the word in the correct way.  Use the word to share your love.  Use white magic, beginning with yourself.  Tell yourself how wonderful you are, how great you are.  Tell yourself how much you love yourself.  Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny, agreements that make you suffer.

Just imagine what you can create with impeccability of the word!